Literally – what am I doing here? It’s a question I asked myself in Autumn 2019. At that point, things were a bit bleak. I wasn’t happy with the way I was using my time on this planet. Why was I taking up oxygen if I wasn’t doing anything with it, other than just existing for the next day?
At the age of 31, I know I should have this all figured out. But I hadn’t; I just knew I could be doing more than living a nice, well-paid, London life. Because “TO WHAT END??” was the big, fat, prodding question that I kept asking. Why am I here? How have I got to this point only to be dissatisfied?
What if I got to the end of it all and this was all I’d done? Would I be proud? Would I have valued my contribution to the world? No, not really.
I couldn’t see the point of another year of nice dinners, hard work, nice bars (or actually just crap ones but it’s all extortionate anyway), yoga on Wednesdays, Park Runs on Saturdays, just to have to do it all over again for another year. Perhaps I’m going through an early midlife crisis.
I want to be useful, and worthwhile; giving, not just consuming, not constantly wondering: ‘What if…?’
So, I’m on a journey – a learning curve – to use, cherish and push the simple privileges given to me. I am a human, with an able body, and a brain, and I have incredibly supportive family and friends and I am driven.
My passion is for wildlife conservation and that’s the direction I’m steering life towards now. After a fun and good but totally directionless career so far, this is where I want to go.
So, I know that’s it; I’ve got that down… Now, how do I get there?
My witterings 